Dear Family and Friends,
I am writing to tell you that I am no longer a disciple of Osho. This is a recent decision although it was foreshadowed by something that I read maybe six months ago. I was reading “MY DANCE WITH A MADMAN” by Anand Subhuti . He was a long time close disciple of Osho. In the book was the following:

“Bhagwan wasn’t big on women staying the night. He loved being alone too much for that. He wasn’t much into foreplay, either. One woman told me, years later, that he spent a long time caressing her face, then indicated she should go into the next room and ‘get yourself ready,’ which included undressing and turning herself on. “My god,” I exclaimed. “He really was a lazy man!””

My reaction to the above was very different than Subhuti’s. I was shocked. I had heard a couple vague rumours about Osho having sex with his female disciples and thought that it made sense that if he had sex with a woman, then, it should be someone he is connected with. However, I assumed that the event would be one of mutual caring. This description was not that. It was the same as going to a prostitute. I was bewildered and didn’t know where to go with this.

Then, three months ago, on a private online forum, several women came forward to give first hand accounts of how Osho had used them for his self-gratification. Women who had thought that they had been called to his room for a spiritual meeting with their guru found themselves being told to do things for his sexual gratification. Let me be clear, there was no consideration for their feelings. One woman he just started fondling with his foot! The first reported instance was in the early 70’s when he was living in Mumbai. Perhaps some women knew what was coming and went to him as a groupie would to a rock star. Even if they knew what was coming, his actions were totally out of synch with the way he spoke in his discourses: “Remain with your beloved or your lover as if you have become one.” “Warmth, love, should be made a situation for two persons to melt into each other. That is why if there is no love, the sex act is a hurried act. You are using the other: the other is just a means.” From The Book of Secrets. pg. 468.

The decision for me to “drop sanyass” was immediate. However, the ramifications of that decision have taken more time to sort through. I found myself looking through different eyes at my time with Osho, his teaching and choices that I have made in my life. I consider him to be the most eloquent person that I have known. He drew from many spiritual traditions and people of wisdom. How much of what he said was from his own experience, I have less trust in now. Things that I had felt uncomfortable with and let slide because they seemed minor or I allowed to be explained away became clear as a part of certain patterns. There was much of value that I got from my time with Osho and there are aspects of his teachings that I now see as unhealthy or harmful. There is much more that I will write at a later date. I was already working on a book that tangentially involved my experiences with Osho which is being revised.

I have been using the name Kundan for 45 years now. There are many friends now and in the past who know me only by that name. It is a name that I like. So, for now, I will continue to use it. If you wish to call me by another name, I’m fine with that.

* 31August 2023

I decided that, in order to totally dissociate myself from Osho’s words and actions I would need to stop using the name “Kundan”. Though it has take some time to adjust to, (for my family and friends as well as myself), I am very happy to be called Jim again. It adds and additional feeling of freedom to what I experienced with my initial dissociation.

Also, the longer I look at Osho’s teachings from a distance, the more shocked I am by some of what he taught us. The first hand stories that I have been told by others continue to shake me.

Love, Jim